As much as I try to pretend I don't care...

I'm going to leave the above sentence unfinished. It seems more appropriate that way!

I've had a good, unproductive sort of a day. I made cupcakes... the same Black Forest ones, but more substantial in size this time. And I added a little bit of edible glitter so it looks like a fairy has kissed them.

Goldilocks

Today, at church, a father of two little boys brought his sons over to say hi to me after the meeting had ended because he had been reading to them, and decided to tell them that I was Goldilocks when I was younger. I was asked questions about the episode with the three bears, and what I had learned from the events. They eagerly stretched out their little hands to shake mine and, on walking away, I contemplated the joy of being a little child. It must be fun when anything is possible.

Something for nothing...

It has really struck me lately as I've been reading about yet more MPs expenses as it becomes more and more apparent that there are very few Members of Parliament in Britain who have not dishonestly procured things that they are not entitled to. The sad thing is, the question that immediately comes to my mind is:

How many of us are guilty of, in essence, the same? How many of us would not bat an eyelash at taking stationary from our place of work, or taking a longer break than we should... how many of us are actively seeking 'something-for-nothing'?

Simple Things in Life...

I had such a great night tonight, but it's nearly 1am and I'm not tired at all. I slept all day today as I worked 10pm til 8am last night and have become nocturnal.

I've just come back from a great multi-stake activity in Leicester where I had a lot of fun with my 'band'- Mark, Randall, Kirsty and Kelsey- The "Mostly English Rejects". :) Hehe... It was nice to let my hair down and be around amazing people. Everyone needs a good giggle with the YSA from time to time. Tomorrow we have volleyball all day and hopefully a lot of YSA will be at that too. :)

Putting tears in perspective, via Flight of the Conchords:

Laughter is the best medicine...

I had such a great day today...

We can just ignore my morning. The electricity died at home so I had no hair dryer and had to go to Med School looking like a drowned rat, which was pleasant. Then in the exam room I managed to trap my finger in a broken chair so I was in blinding pain when the exam was starting. But, oh well, when it ended- my day got better.

Grinning...

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

"No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth" “Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” “Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

Men, Men, Horrible Men; I've said it before and I'll say it again!

These lyrics from Calamity Jane just came into my head!

One down...

Well, it would probably be wrong of me not to mention my exam today. It happened. It really did. It was not exactly the thrill of my life, but it's over and that is a definite plus. Nothing else I could do; could've been better, could've been worse. Let's talk about something else!!!

10 Confessions:

1) Sometimes I'm super-harsh to people just for fun (admittedly, it's less fun if they get upset)

2) I facebook stalk... regularly...

3) I'm a bit messy...

4) I understate things (see above)

5) When I feel low, I often think about what material possessions will make me happy...

6) It takes me a while to put things in perspective (see above!)

7) I am jealous of married people

8) I have fairly good ideas about what my wedding will be like... I wouldn't say that it's planned, but I have thought about colours, dresses, shoes, make-up, hair, cakes, photographers, invitations, guests, transport, honeymoons, food, table-layouts, flowers etc in great detail and have even visited sites such as http://www.designedbythebride.com/

9) I eat rubbish food just because it's easier to access. I would usually rather eat nice/healthy food- I love lettuce and carrots and cucumber and tomatoes and peppers... (YUM!) but will open the fridge and thing, "eugh! effort!" and grab a chocolate bar.

10) I have been known to build outfits around shoes... I never buy shoes that match... but I will buy shoes and then buy something that matches them... or just pray that I have something in my wardrobe!

Blessed!

I've been thinking a lot today about people in my life who are amazing.

I am so, so lucky to have the things that I have and to be so enveloped in love.

I don't really want to mention specifics! There have just been so many people that have gone out of there way to do things for me recently- from the sublime to the ridiculous! It's just been nice. Obviously my family are people in my life who do good to me most consistently, and I've felt that recently. I sometimes don't really know how to express my gratitude. But when I've thought about it lately I've realised that sometimes it's just doing the little things back to acknowledge that you notice the effort... I've started to look at things around the house with the frame of mind, "if you don't do it, who will?" followed by: "and why should it be them and not you?"

Attempt at Cupcakes....!

Ok, so yesterday I decided that I would do something fun and productive with my day, other than just revise, so I thought that the best thing to do to motivate me was to produce something yummy.

I found a good recipe on the internet, because I've been thinking about making Black Forest Cupcakes for the longest time!

Here's the recipe, incase you want to make them- I RECOMMEND IT!

Post-its

I have post-its all over my room at the moment. 

Attempt at poetry...

I just wrote this poem. I do that on occassion! They're usually not very good, and usually are a bit too wordy and don't express very much. But, it's how I am feeling right now and what I am thinking about and I just feel that it might be nice to include this on my blog. I haven't given it a title- that's a lot too pretentious... feel free to laugh at my feeble half-rhymes!

Very general thoughts about all superficial aspects of life!

Again, I have had a bit of a funny day mood-wise.

I got some really sad news today, which I won't refer to specifically on this blog- just to say that life is fragile and we must treat people around us with love and respect.

I'm currently sitting in bed, cuddling my very soft teddy... Mister Actual Something. I call him 'Mister Act' for short.... :)

Maybe I'm in denial... but...

These lyrics seem to be speaking to me today:

"I should be out in that driveway stopping you

Tears should be rolling down my cheek

And I don't know why I'm not falling apart

Like I usually do

And how the thought of losing you's not killing me

I feel bad

That I can stand here strong

Cold as stone, Seems so wrong

I can't explain it

Maybe it's just

I've cried so much

I'm tired and I'm numb Baby I hate it

I feel bad that I don't feel bad

Dawning Realisation...

I feel like today has been a very strange day in terms of my emotions. I feel like I may have been walking around in the dark for quite some time, actually, but light is starting to appear and I feel like tonight I've stopped being paralysed emotionally and have taken more than just a tentative step in a certain direction.

Book of Mormon

Wedding!

Today I got the opportunity to attend the wedding of a friend of my sister and I. It has to be said that I am not the biggest fan of weddings. They tend to overwhelm me... I don't know what it is about them...

but, anyway, it was a lovely wedding.

Do you know- I have observed that weddings never go completely smoothly. But the main thing is that at the end of the day, the atmosphere is set by the love that is evident. So, I guess my favourite parts of a wedding are the bits that others might find slightly cringe-worthy... the outward affection... the way the groom's voice cracks up when he tries to express how much the bride means to him... the little looks... the smiles... the obvious joy in each other's joy. That is truly memorable.