Valentine

On facebook over the last few days I've noticed that everyone seems to be talking about the upcoming February 14th. Admittedly, most of those commenting on Valentine's Day don't seem to be fans. Most are bemoaning their single status and the excuse that the day gives coupled-up people to rub their noses in their happiness. Some are complaining about the commercial nature of the day.

I'm not going to do either of those things because, firstly, I have no current reason for displays of single-bitterness and, secondly, because in reality I don't want to draw any more attention to the day itself. Yet, on the subject I do have something that has been pressing on my mind.

I recently went to peruse the various gaudy, innuendo-rich cards that are the symbol of the 'season'. I found that nearly every one of the cards expressed the words, "I love you." Now, that may not seem like a very profound observation but it made me wonder about the people who were sending these cards. It made me wonder who they are and whether they mean it. It made me wonder how many of the couples who send a card this February 14th will still be together in a month, a year, five years, twenty years...

What does it mean to really love someone? 

I know in life sometimes we hear the words applied too liberally.
I know I have probably even been guilty of such glibness in the past.
I know certainly that it has been said to me in circumstances where I am fully aware that they could not have meant it with any kind of definition that I would apply to those words.

I think there is a superficial kind of "I love you" which is probably entirely meant. You say it because someone has made you feel happy, done something nice for you or been sweet. You say it because they make your life better. You say it because you think they're beautiful, because they are always kind to you, or maybe out of obligation. That kind of "I love you" can be totally selfish. It is because someone makes you feel good about yourself or because of something they did in a particular circumstance or because of something they are. It's more about the flesh of the person than the very bones of them. When they annoy you, when they disappoint you, when they don't look so good, or when they're just not as entertaining as they used to be... that feeling starts to wane.

So what is "I love you" at it's best? 

Ironically, "I love you" at it's (CORRECTION: its) best is when you are at your worst. It is when you see someone for all that they are- even the mouldy bits- and you have this overwhelming desire to help them when they have those moments of falling on their face in the mud. When "love" is really meant- it is a decision to put the needs of another person before yourself. It is not a decision to accept them as they are- it is a decision to love them as they are and give them your hand so they can attain something more. It is a decision to be there - to support - to make them laugh - to hold them as they cry. It is an effort. It is the feeling, in the middle of an argument, that you want nothing more than to work out why they are upset and to find a way to put it right. It is a decision to strengthen them in their weaknesses.

Ultimately, we have a perfect exemplar of real love. Christ-like love is perfect. He was willing to give up everything for us. He paid the price by taking upon Him all that we ever suffer and all that we ever go through in this life. When we are horrible, He still loves us and encourages us to be better and tells us that we can. He is there with a hand to help us step up. He doesn't ever tell us to take the easy road but He does promise He will be there and we'll have a guide. He isn't unduly impressed by our wealth, our appearance, our possessions. He loves us for the way in which we develop our character. He loves us for the way that we serve. He loves us for the good that we achieve and the things that we overcome to do it. He lets us fly. 

On Valentine's Day the crooners will croon, people will declare their love (hopefully a lasting kind) and kindnesses will be exchanged. And perhaps on this day celebrating love we can think of the person who loves us so much that He gave us the opportunity to change and mend our hearts and to be more than we could otherwise be. 

Happy Valentine's Day!