Being myself

I always find it interesting that as we go along in life we learn more and more about ourselves as time passes.

I've learned recently that, at the age of 21, I'm still afraid of the 'scary stuff' that's to come in my life. Contrary to my previous fixation with finding love (preferably a man who's intelligent, funny, sensitive and just happens to look exactly like Channing Tatum) and rushing headlong into the roller-coaster of married life, I find myself entirely at ease with the idea of merely peacefully drifting on the lake of the singletons. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be on my own or entirely independent. I want others to pass by on their lilos and get me laughing for a while. I want to meander round and bask in the society we have there. I love people and life is much more fulfilling when I'm surrounded by those I love. So, the scary stuff can wait.

While I am not about to say no to a proposal as cute as this (though the smile, admittedly is a little creepy), knowing how I feel right now on this subject needs to inform my decisions more. Especially when talking to potential candidates of the future. The time will come when I am in a position in my life to start properly considering these things and I just have to make sure that when that time comes, I am with the right person... at the right place... at the right time.

Right now, I'm glad I have a bit more time to grow and develop in the right direction so I can be sure of what I want and make someone happy, and choose someone who I am certain will make me happy. That also means having the courage to let people know when they definitely aren't the right person for me.

The wonderful thing is there are some great men in this world.

I was talking to a friend of mine about this subject because someone had voiced the opinion that there are no good men in the world at all. This individual had seen a man she'd trusted let down his family very badly and betray them, abusing their kindness and forgiveness. I've seen similar situations myself. In some cases men have made mistakes and have done all they can afterwards to rectify those mistakes and in other cases there has been some element of abuse in the way he has treated his family after making a mistake himself. We are all prone to error and flaw and men are no more susceptible than women. As individuals we have weaknesses and some of these seem to be more common in one gender than another.

While men have the capacity for getting things wrong at catastrophic levels, I believe they also have the power to get things right and to lead others to get things right because of their example and support. Where there is the potential for greatness there are also trials and tests whereby even some of the wonderful people amongst us fail. It's about preparing yourself to stand strong against temptation and it's also about what you do when you do fall prey to a particular weakness. Ultimately, I believe the difference between a good person and a bad one is humility.

Through humility we recognise our strength is not our own which leads us to ask for the guidance and protection of the spirit. And if we make a mistake, humility leads us to seek out strength and forgiveness instead of excuses and rationalisations.

I hope that whilst drifting (purposefully) through the singleton lake I can find someone with the humility to love God and listen to Him faithfully even when it's not something he particularly wants to hear. Someone with the humility also to consider me his better half whilst securely knowing that I think it is vice versa.

I love love, ok?! I admit it. There's a lot of romance in my soul and that will, one day, be awakened by my Channing-Tatum-look-alike prince. :)

After all, a girl has to dream!