Raising My Sights...

Rightly or wrongly, the main focus of my last two weeks (since Ben popped the question) has been on frantically trying to make preparations for our civil wedding ceremony and the reception. I knew that there were certain things that if not considered soon enough would end up being stressful and disastrous on the run up to our big day. As a self-confessed wedding-loather it has been (at times) hard for me to see the point in arranging all of these things- especially without the fiancé around on a daily basis to remind me that it will all be worth it. It's a lot of expense. I guess the positive thing is that we will be able to share our day with the people we love.

Part of my drive has been in an effort to distract myself from the examination results that I was anticipating from Medical School. I was completely unsure of how the exam had actually gone. Fortunately, through a lot of prayer, my anxiety was proven unnecessary- I passed.

It was a great relief to know that this is now out of the way. It means I can concentrate my energies on the things that matter most. With this in mind, I pulled out my copy of the pamphlet "The Holy Temple" and started to read it. All day yesterday I had the following song going through my head:

"Come to the Mountain of the Lord

Come with your banner, shield and sword,

Set like a light upon a hill,

The ancient promise is fulfilled, 

Come climb the mount with flag unfurled

To save the souls who've left this world, 

The power of God has been restored, 

Come to the Mountain of the Lord, 

Up to the Mountain of the Lord." 

A Wedding is special whatever religion you are and whatever it is that you believe about marriage. It is touching and beautiful to see people pledge to be true to each other all their lives. For me, the temple is going to be by far the most important part of our day. When Ben and I talk about our wedding day the thing we most often end up talking about is the temple. 

I am aware that a lot of people that come to support us on our day will not see this part of it. So I wanted to explain a little bit about the temple- about why I'm excited, what it means to me and what will happen there. 

When I think about temples the image comes hand-in-hand with the idea of family. Anyone who knows me will probably understand that my family are vitally important to me. My parents and Charly, Jonathan, Becky and I make up a unit that we believe will last a lot longer than just this life. Family life is not always perfect but we believe that the relationships we have in our families can last beyond death and therefore it is worth investing endless time and effort in the pursuit of good family relationships. So how does this connect with the temple? 

When my parents met, got engaged and were married they made the decision to marry in the temple. Their civil marriage bound them "as long as [they] both shall live" but their decision to marry in the temple after this bound them "for time and all eternity". It also meant that the children that were born to them during their marriage were automatically part of that unit that they created as they married in the temple, and continued to live in the way that they knew was right. 

I guess, really, my parents set an example for me and have given me a pattern for the things that I want in life for myself. It's because of them that I have always dreamed of being married inside God's House (each temple has the inscription: "Holiness to The Lord. The House of the Lord.") as I grew up thinking that that was the only way. While I've grown out of ignorantly thinking this was the only way to get married, it has become more and more apparent that for me this truly is the only way. 

The temple is a wonderful place. So why can't everyone go inside? It may be interesting to know that, though I've been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints all my life, I have not yet had access to much of the temple. It's not because there is something blocking me out or that it is secretive- it's because it hasn't been the right time for me to go there yet. Before I get married, I will go and make covenants in the temple that I haven't previously been at the right point to make. It's not that I've been slow, just that there is an order to it. I've reached a time in my life now where I am preparing to go inside and receive some of the blessings that come from the temple for myself- just as my parents did. Not everyone is at that point yet- whether they're a member of the church or not. It's a privilege and a wonderful blessing in my life that I am nearly ready to go. I'm anxious and excited. 

On the day that Ben and I get married, we will go straight to the temple after the reception. Some of our closest family members and friends will come with us- some will come inside with us and some will not.

One of the things that has touched me most when talking to a friend recently about the temple part of our day was when I was explaining to her that we would be going inside and she wouldn't be able to see that part of our day. I explained that she didn't need to come to the temple grounds with us as she'd be waiting for a long time; we would be happy if she was just at the reception and the civil ceremony. She stopped me and said, "but this is really important to you... so I'm going to be there." 

I can't adequately describe the temple. The grounds are so peaceful and there is an air of reverence. Inside the temple this feeling is intensified. It is a beautiful building. The atmosphere is peaceful and calm. It is the one place on earth where I always feel that nothing bad could possibly happen. You leave the troubles and cares outside and when you come out of the temple it feels like every burden has been eased and lightened. You gain perspective. It's a place of meditation. There are places in the temple where you can sit and ponder but most often people are busy and productive in the temple - yet there is still a sense of serenity and stillness because of the sacred feeling about the place. Temples are beautiful. 

It's likely that both Ben and I have been dreaming of the temple and getting married there for years. To be planning for this in reality is sometimes very emotional and overwhelming. In the temple we will kneel at an alter and make promises that we believe give us the possibility of being together forever. It is the most incredible expression of love that I can imagine. For me, there is nothing more profound than that moment in my life. It is the pinnacle and it's something that we will remember throughout our marriage, which can and will last forever. 

The beauty of it stems from the fact that this is a huge step and not one that either of us could take lightly. To decide to marry someone and commit to them forever is a very sobering thing. For me, I could not have made this decision if I wasn't completely convinced that I am going to the temple with the right person. As gargantuan as this decision is- it has come so easily and so quickly. I feel that I've been guided to Ben and it's all just been so plain and so clear. That sense of completeness is something I never want to lose. 

I am not sure that my waffle has made the temple more clear to everyone; but perhaps you can understand some of my enthusiasm! 

"When you realise you want to spend [forever] with somebody; 

you want [forever] to start as soon as possible." 

(When Harry Met Sally)