Space

There’s an interesting concept that seems to resonate with people and that is the idea of freedom. People dream of going travelling somewhere, carrying their home on their back like a snail and searching for beauty, wonder and meaning in the world.

I went to see one of my favourite bands this week courtesy of my wonderful fiancé. Due to their status as a country band they tend to sing about all of those things you’d expect to hear: about things their mamma has told them, how dangerous an angry woman can be and both running away from home and always carrying it with you in your heart.

The day after the concert Ben went away down to the main offices of his work for 2 nights and I took the opportunity to invade ‘our’ flat! Looking around at this place it is incredible to me that this will soon be my home. I love it as a place. It’s nothing grand or magnificent but there’s space enough for us right now and I like the fact that nothing here is planned just for myself or just for Ben. This is our space. We both have responsibility for it and a right to feel completely relaxed here.

I, too, sometimes feel ‘the call of the wild’ – I want to get into that big world out there and see all the sights, hear all the sounds; take it all in. As beautiful as the concept is that it would be amazing to go out there and do everything off your own back I can’t imagine seeing a sunset and not feeling lonely. Staying in the flat last night and tonight... it is meaningless without company. Life means so very little when we’re not sharing it with those we love.

Yes, I anticipate Ben getting under my feet and vice versa. I anticipate times when I just happen to want to be in the space that he is occupying and it won’t always be easy to share; despite the fact that we love each other!

I hope that in all those times I remember that space is just that---- space. It is wasted if not filled. There’s a huge space in my heart when Ben goes away, even just for a couple of days. I miss him. It’s actually a pretty good feeling- it makes it all the more amazing when he calls me and I hear his voice. Space and time apart helps me know exactly what I do not want: space and time apart!!!

I’m going to resolve not to take him for granted- and I can’t wait to give him a big hug!

And... yes... this is all a bit mushy, but it does apply to everyone.

I love my family home and I love the idea of creating a home- and that can never be built out of bricks and mortar or even cute pictures. Home is togetherness.

As the word blocks say at my parents house: “Home can be a heaven” (though it often ends up as “A Home can heaven be” and many other imaginative variations.)

Home is a space filled with the people you love. J