So, I woke up this morning after a strange dream; the second over the last two nights. This time it was about family and how I was trying to become reacquainted with distant relatives. It was odd because I was in their house apparently, and their daughter looked in through a dirty window and saw me standing there and I expected her to be scared, but she wasn't and she just came in and gathered the cat out of th
e bed and gave me an address. I think it might be because I was thinking about familysearch before I went to sleep. Odd, indeed.
Speaking of odd- Benjamin has been extraordinarily odd for the last four days. I'm used to him having hyper moments, where he dances/skates around and occasionally grabs me to twirl me around as he rushes past, like a whirlwind. I am not, however, used to these extended periods of insanity. Don't get me wrong- I love it. It's lovely that he's so happy. I hope it does last and this becomes the norm because we've laughed together so much... we've played board games, gone for a walk by the canal... nothing remarkable, but still really precious moments. I guess it's the unremarkable moments that I'll hang on to when he's not here for two years. Those are the things I'll remember- times when he's laughed at my jokes so hard he's cried... conversations we've had... how sheepish he looked when he saw an ex-girlfriend... !
I got some fantastic news today- Hannah K and Jonno are engaged! She told me on facebook, but then I rang her because I just wanted to hear the excitement in her voice. It's so lovely that she's at this place right now where her whole life is ahead of her. They're such a great couple. I'm so pleased for them. Of course, there's the slight twinge of jealously that I'm not in that place in my life right now. However, my time will come!
My whole life seems like a count down to the next events right now which is actually fairly depressing and I'm aware that I need to get myself out of thinking like that. I'm trying to implement some things to make me feel better, so that I don't end up getting overwhelmed. It sounds odd, but I thought physical and spiritual exercise would be the things most likely to help me out of any moments of upset or tension and so I'm going to make it a habit to encorporate both into my morning and nightly regime, which should be easier now Ben and I are going to establish a curfew!
I'm excited for him going o
n his mission, but I want meaningful spiritual experiences for him before that time because I want him to have some personal back-history... i guess... I can't explain what I mean. I just think the more experiences with the spirit he takes on his mission with him, the better. Thus, we're talking about getting his brother's name ready to do the temple work necessary for him. I can't even describe the importance of that in my mind. Whenever I think about Ben in the temple being baptised in proxy for his brother, it makes me feel such a strong spirit. I really do have a testimony of missionary work and our responsibility for granting people the opportunity to receive the gospel, both here and beyond the veil. I just know it's true so strongly... whether Ben's brother accepts the gospel or not, that ordinance is important and essential to his moral agency and I know Ben will never regret that experience. In the temple the veil is so thin sometimes. I remember sitting in the temple once and seeing a widower there, with his wedding ring on, and knowing that his wife was as close to him in that place as she can be at any place on the earth while they undergo this momentary separation. When you're in the temple you really get such an amazing eternal perspective on things.
I need to get on with some more revision and cease all this musing!
e bed and gave me an address. I think it might be because I was thinking about familysearch before I went to sleep. Odd, indeed. Speaking of odd- Benjamin has been extraordinarily odd for the last four days. I'm used to him having hyper moments, where he dances/skates around and occasionally grabs me to twirl me around as he rushes past, like a whirlwind. I am not, however, used to these extended periods of insanity. Don't get me wrong- I love it. It's lovely that he's so happy. I hope it does last and this becomes the norm because we've laughed together so much... we've played board games, gone for a walk by the canal... nothing remarkable, but still really precious moments. I guess it's the unremarkable moments that I'll hang on to when he's not here for two years. Those are the things I'll remember- times when he's laughed at my jokes so hard he's cried... conversations we've had... how sheepish he looked when he saw an ex-girlfriend... !
I got some fantastic news today- Hannah K and Jonno are engaged! She told me on facebook, but then I rang her because I just wanted to hear the excitement in her voice. It's so lovely that she's at this place right now where her whole life is ahead of her. They're such a great couple. I'm so pleased for them. Of course, there's the slight twinge of jealously that I'm not in that place in my life right now. However, my time will come!
My whole life seems like a count down to the next events right now which is actually fairly depressing and I'm aware that I need to get myself out of thinking like that. I'm trying to implement some things to make me feel better, so that I don't end up getting overwhelmed. It sounds odd, but I thought physical and spiritual exercise would be the things most likely to help me out of any moments of upset or tension and so I'm going to make it a habit to encorporate both into my morning and nightly regime, which should be easier now Ben and I are going to establish a curfew!
I'm excited for him going o
n his mission, but I want meaningful spiritual experiences for him before that time because I want him to have some personal back-history... i guess... I can't explain what I mean. I just think the more experiences with the spirit he takes on his mission with him, the better. Thus, we're talking about getting his brother's name ready to do the temple work necessary for him. I can't even describe the importance of that in my mind. Whenever I think about Ben in the temple being baptised in proxy for his brother, it makes me feel such a strong spirit. I really do have a testimony of missionary work and our responsibility for granting people the opportunity to receive the gospel, both here and beyond the veil. I just know it's true so strongly... whether Ben's brother accepts the gospel or not, that ordinance is important and essential to his moral agency and I know Ben will never regret that experience. In the temple the veil is so thin sometimes. I remember sitting in the temple once and seeing a widower there, with his wedding ring on, and knowing that his wife was as close to him in that place as she can be at any place on the earth while they undergo this momentary separation. When you're in the temple you really get such an amazing eternal perspective on things. I need to get on with some more revision and cease all this musing!
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