"It is a hard thing which [is] required [of us]"

I was reading my scriptures this morning (just going through the chapters for Institute this week with a view to getting an overview and 'studying' later on in the week) and I was thinking about missionary work.

In particular, I was thinking about friends who have asked me questions about how difficult it is for a young man to decide to leave his life behind for two years in order to do what is expected of him as a member of the church. I was also thinking about young men who decide not to go, and why that is. Some young men who have been in the church all their lives make a decision not to go, where young men who have been in the church little more than a year feel totally compelled to go.

Thinking and considering with a need to ponder and pray

Well...
There is so much going on.

Jonathan is now Elder Mace, and is in the MTC in Provo... which is scary because in my mind he'll always be my baby brother, even though he's only 18months younger than me.

My life is starting to settle down.
I still need to find a job. That's the main issue right now.

Plus, I really have started thinking about what I want.
Where do I see myself in 10 years time?

Saying Goodbye again...

So, this weekend has been all about my brother, as is appropriate due to the fact that tomorrow he flies out to the MTC in Provo to learn Spanish for 6 weeks before flying out to Chile, Vina del Mar mission.

I have been thinking a lot this week about the sacrifice that it is to go on a mission. It has been on my mind because of Aaron, Alex and Ben who are currently serving; not just because of the sacrifice Jonathan is making. I have always known my brother was going to go on a mission one day, and yet somehow being here, in this position, it's still not the easy option. It would be so easy for him to have decided not to go. But I am glad that he knows that the gospel is true, and as such is going out there to share it.

Facing my fears

One of my teachers at school once observed that the reason I was confident to put my hand up to answer a question, but that I had no confidence in trying to act in drama was because of my complete fear of failure.

I suppose part of it is pride. Some kind of hideous self-adoration that makes me want to look good in the eyes of other people. But part of it is just because of how inadequate I feel about most things.

I am taking a gap year this year, due to a failed module at medical school which I have to externally retake. Second year, for me, will start in 2010.